Joseph Stalin once said that “The death of one man is a tragedy. The death of a million men is a statistic.” It’s such a cool quote that nobody cares that he didn’t actually say it.
In this scenario, that heart wrenching fantasy football loss you suffered last week is a tragedy. Jim’s winless record is a statistic.
Mid-Season Power Rankings:
In honor of Joseph Stalin, this year’s Power Rankings are determined by just one statistic: if you played each of the other eleven teams in the league each and every week, how many wins would you have?
12. IntheCARR Gettin a TJ
Jim is in last place and hasn’t won a game and it shouldn’t be shocking that he is last in the Power Rankings. If Jim played Every Team Every Week (ETEW), he would be 14-52.
Things are grim, but according to the stats, Jim should have won at least one game, so he’s got that going for him.
11. King Can
The two-time champ sits in sole possession of ninth place. Andrew has exactly as many wins as he should: two.
Andrew’s ETEW record would be 19-47.
10. Don’t Worry You’ll Win
Grayson is 1-5, but a return to the Toilet Bowl isn’t a foregone conclusion. Through six weeks of the season, Grayson has been unlucky: he should be 2-4.
Grayson’s ETEW: 21-45.
9. Team Simpkins
Trevor has four wins, but the stats say that he should have two – Trevor is statistically the luckiest team in the league. Trevor is probably good with that.
Trevor’s ETEW: 27-39.
8. Hurts People… Hurts People
Court should be 2-4. Court was lucky early and won two games he had no business winning, but he also lost a game in Week 6 that he should have won – with Court’s Week 6 score of 93.36, he would have beat 6 other teams, but he drew the wrong straw.
Court’s ETEW: 29-37.
8. Rookie Monster
Ryan and Court have the same ETEW and are in the exact same situation: Ryan is slightly lucky to sit at 3-3; he should be at 2-4. Ryan might be heating up – he had the second-best score of the year in Week 6 with 142.
Ryan’s ETEW: 29-37.
6. Smoke on the Roster
The defending license plate holder is not getting any breaks. Lee is the unluckiest team in the league.
Lee is 1-5 but statistically, he should have two more wins and sit at 3-3.
Lee’s ETEW: 33-33.
5. GodHatesJags
Tolmie is exactly where he should be: 3-3.
After putting up the second-best score in Week 6, Tolmie’s ETEW score is 34-32.
4. Chalupa Batman
It’s better to be lucky than good, and Ross is both. Ross sits at 5-1 and in a tie for first place in the standings, but he stole a win in Week 6 with a 91.56 – 90 win over Grayson.
Ross’s ETEW: 41-25.
3. Puma Pants
Like Ross, Joe is at 5-1 but should be at 4-2.
Joe’s scores most weeks have been higher than Ross’s, though, so Joe secures the third spot in the Power Rankings with an ETEW of 43-23.
2. Cherno Alpha
Eric sits at 4-2 but the stats say the defending champ should be at 5-1. Eric’s two losses come in games where he scored 118.72 and 114.32 points, both of which should be wins, but Eric also got lucky in Week 3 with a 96.28 – 92.78 win over Ryan.
ETEW: 49-17.
1. Barenaked Cladys
It’s no surprise that the highest scoring team in the league would have also beat the most teams every week.
The bad news for the rest of the league? Kyle should be 6-0. Kyle’s only loss was in Week 6, when Kyle lost to one of only two teams in the league that would have beat him: Tolmie.
ETEW: 57-9.