It didn’t take a COVID pandemic to derail the 2020 Deuce Cup auction draft. Just a few brewskies and a mediocre draft strategy. Let’s break down the draft and see how the owners fared in the 2020 draft report card:
God Hates Jags: A+
God Hates Jags is loaded. Like Eric passed out in the lawn with a wicked sun burn at Braun Brothers Reunion loaded. Jags picked up a serviceable QB with obvious upside in Rogers, has two big time RB’s in Cooks and Chubb, and is filthy at WR with Thielen, Evans, and Cooks. Look for Jag’s to secure a top spot and a first week playoff bye in the Protoss division.
Dad Therapy 3.0: A
Dad Therapy reversed course from his rookie sweepstakes in the 2019 draft, by drafting heavy hitters such as Kamara, Carson, and Brady_v2.exe. This dynasty curator didn’t leave without a few stashes though – he picked up Jerry Jeudy, Darius Slayton, and Preston Williams to shotgun into fantasy stardom. If Brady is able to stay healthy and productive in Tampa, Dad Therapy will get another shot at redemption come playoffs.
Chalupa Batman: A
When Melvin Gordon shipped out to Denver, the happiest man in the universe was not Austin Ekeler. It was Chalupa Batman – as this meant the value pick from 2019’s draft was going to pay handsome dividends. Chalupa found himself in a similar situation with a discounted Josh Jacobs, which allowed some big WR names to fill out the roster. Chalupa Batman’s starting lineup makes for an intriguing battle in Zerg.
Dukey Brees: A-
Dukey’s RB keepers (both top 5) entering the draft were drool worthy. Zeke and Henry were kept at reasonable prices, allowing him to go after high-profile targets such as Mahomes, Gronk, and Keenan Allen to position himself as a repeat customer to this year’s championship. Bench depth will be a cause for concern down the stretch, with no one standing out to make an impact in fantasy production. Sometimes that’s the cost of doing business when you spend big at the auction.
Pierre DerlictMyBalls: B+
DerlictMyBalls left the auction draft with a team any owner would be happy with: decent RB’s, great WR’s, and bench depth for days. Mark Ingram could easily put up another top 20 finish and his players find themselves in convenient situations as the team’s only positional threats (Adams, Sanders, Robinson and Bell). DerlictMyBalls should be able to navigate the season injuries and COVID situations with ease as he eye’s his second title.
Idaho Bridge Nutless: B
Bridge Nutless’ draft strategy is like the rising and falling sun – relatively short, predictable, and effective. Bridge Nutless looked forward to this year, by trading his prized RB for Lamar Jackson in 2019 – whom he kept for a mere $70 in 2020. For the first time, he did not out spend the league on a single player, but he did manage to come close by drafting Christian McCaffrey for a cool $350. Hollywood and Beckham make for a nice pair of receivers and if Kenyon Drake starts to go off again, Nutless will be humping his dog bed all the way to the title game.
Swivel Disobediance: B
The Commissioner and reigning Deuce Cup champion left the draft without his fantasy star from last year’s title winning team.. but he showed no signs of a rebuild year – paying the highest for a single player (Barkley – $400) at this year’s auction to seek out another run at the title. The Commish will need the NY giants to find an offense and heavy production from his long lost friend Cam Newton in order to twirl this swivel disobediancer back around to the big dance.
King Can: B–
Auction drafts are great because everyone’s true self comes out. Impulsive owners make big purchases on bad decisions and analytical owners stick to their guns even if it means losing targeted players who are purchased past their price value. King Can will unapologetically tell you he’s in the latter category, systematically watching his player sheet get scratched off before making marquee signings for players undervalued and when league owners are down on cash. While loaded at WR with Kupp, Cooper, Moore, and Ridley – King Can doesn’t have a RB in the top 20. He’ll need big production from Dak Prescott and Zack Ertz to etch his name on the jacket for the second time.
Team Toy: C+
Team Toy put together a nice core of WR’s, TE and QB, but his RB situation is similar to the faces of UFC fighters who face Francis Ngannou. Pummeled. Rookie Cam Akers may make a splash in LA with Gurley off to the dirty birds, and Mostert may see enough volume in SF to win a few shootouts, AND David Montgomery may be be back to start the season after a groin injury – BUT that’s a lot of faith to put in 3 RB’s to last the season. This isn’t re-draft territory due to Watson and Kelce being in the mix, but Toy’s flirting with it.
Cardi Lee: C
Cardi Lee changed strategy from 2019’s goal of filling the roster with viable depth and instead splashed cash early and often. Jones in GB will be a favorable fantasy situation, Kittle is a fantasy maniac, and Julio Jones has been in the top 3 WR conversation for almost a decade. But those 3 players took up 75% of Cardi Lee’s $1,000 budget – meaning he’s going to need some waiver wire magic to avoid a potential dumpster fire season.
Barenaked Cladys: D+
In a 4 slot RB league, Clady’s draft would have been exceptional. The Deuce Cup, however, is not one of these leagues. Edwards-Helaire, Gurley, and Johnson, albeit massive potential upside, couldn’t be more unproven in their current situations. To make matters worse, Josh Allen relied on running the football for any fantasy relevancy in 2019 and Dobbins is comfortably sitting behind Ingram on the depth chart. Clady’s didn’t just move to re-draft territory, he bought a house and a couple rental properties there.
Just a Trash Ass Team: D
Trash is banking on rookies and consistent WR production to push for any sort of relevancy in the league this year. The license plate frame looks at home for at least another year.
Projected Title Game: God Hates Jags vs Dukey Brees