Here are your Week 5 awards.

Juggernaut

Chalupa Batman – 130.8 points

Like a phoenix rising from the ashes of a dumpster fire, Ross got his first win of the season in epic fashion. Ross put up 130.8 points, the second most points scored in a single game by any team this season.

Shit Kicking

Chalupa Batman – 130.8 – 50.5 over Bye Week

Not only did Ross have a monster output, he did it against a team that scored the least points of any team all year. This is in all likelihood the biggest spread you’ll see all year, and it couldn’t come at a worse time for Grayson. Though Grayson started out 2-1, his promising start has evaporated into a 2-3 record. He’s put up a combined 120ish in the last two weeks and is officially on 5k watch. Jury is still out if he’s agreed to the 40.

Butt Pucker

Cherno Alpha – 102.5 – 94.5 over Idaho Bridge nutless

Few games had a true pucker factor this week, with Eric’s 8 point victory over Ben being the closest spread.

Blue Balls

Cardi Lee – 52.3 points

No harm, no foul. Though Lee left 52.3 points on his bench, and played Adrian Peterson and his 4.2 points instead of Kareem Hunt and his 15.4, it didn’t matter. Lee cruised by Andrew by 20.4 all the same, with Mark Ingram II poaching a few touchdowns from Alvin Kamara.

Week 6 Matchup of the Week

Team Coman v. King Can

Court and Andrew are both 3-2, so one team is headed to 4-2 and a head start on playoff position while the other will fall to .500. For Court, a loss could put him two games back of a playoff spot with Ben (3-2) going up against Joe (2-3) and Ryan (4-1) going up against Lee (2-3). For Andrew, the same is true, as Kyle (3-2) faces off against Grayson (2-3), and Tolmie (4-1) faces off against Ross (1-4).

Race for the 40 Spotlight

Right now, Ross and Jim are both 1-4. Ross, however, can chalk some of his shittiness up to bad luck as he’s scored a respectable 480.1 points this season. On the other hand, Jim has scored a league lowest 397.1.

Joe, Eric, Lee, and Grayson are each one game up in the dumpster race at 2-3. Of those teams, Joe and Grayson look the most vulnerable and have scored 412.1 and 402.3 on the year, respectively, while Eric and Lee have scored 483.5 and 490.5.

It’s shaping up to be quick the race down the stretch. Good luck with Week 6.