The first two weeks of the NFL were bananas. Patrick Mohomes can apparently sling passes like Joe Montana, Ryan Fitzpatrick is the leading MVP candidate, and the Browns should have started the year 2-0. But you know, the Browns. Oh and this guy:

turned into this guy:

Who the fuck knows. On to the awards…

Juggernaut

Dude McNasty House of Hoors – 114.2 points

The Dude did what any potential dumpster fire team would do. Pick up the league’s trashiest player and try to out sling Patrick Mahomes. Fortunately for The Dude, Roethlisberger put up a whopping 39 points to secure a victory over Clady’s.

Shit Kicking

TeamComan – 107.1 – 74.7 over Team Blockhead

Team Coman can drink whatever beer he chooses in week 2 with that shit kicking of 32 points over Cherno Alpha.

Butt Pucker

GodHatesJags – 102.6 – 97.8 over Cardi Lee

Cardi Lee looked destined to win his first matchup of the year, but maybe God likes the Jags after all. Jags cruises to first in the Protoss division.

Blue Balls

Cherno Alpha – 69 points

69 points on the bench? Oh yeah, thats a recipe for blue balls. Outscoring his bench by a whopping 5 points, Week 2 is a week to forget for Cherno Alpha.

Good luck in week 3 gents.