After finishing the draft a little over a month ago, no one in the league would have predicted Idaho Bridge Nutless to be undefeated and sitting top of the league standings. It shouldn’t be that surprising really – he was also first in the league with a perfect 3-0 record to start last year too. But something certainly feels different about 2018. For starters, Cherno Alpha and Chalupa Batman, both heavy weight contenders a year ago, sit awkwardly staring at each other at Fuddruckers because even Chilis wouldn’t let them in. 0-3 is not a good look. Even for Chilis. Dad Therapy and Barenaked Cladys, who finished last in Zerg and Protoss respectively last year, look actually somewhat formidable. The only constants that remain from last year are King Can demolishing opponents week in and week out. We all know a lot can change in a week, however, so let’s not get too carried away and get started with the week 3 awards.
Juggernaut
Barenaked Cladys – 139 points
Drew Brees has averaged less than 2 rushing touchdowns per season since entering the NFL in 2002. He rushed for 2 scores and threw for another this weekend to secure Clady’s a win over what looks to be the potential dumpster fire of 2018.
Shit Kicking
Barenaked Cladys – 139 – 61.3 over Team Toy
With the largest spread of any Deuce Cup game in league history, Clady’s absolutely demolished the newcomer. With a shit kicking of over 77 points, Team Toy was blasted into the cellar of the Protoss division.
Butt Pucker
Idaho Bridge Nutless – 90.8 – 81.7 over Dad Therapy
While maybe not a true butt pucker on paper, this weeks award recipients were certainly watching Monday nights game with a close brown eye. Dad Therapy deployed 2 Pittsburgh Steelers in Conner and James, while Idaho Bridge Nutless deployed the Alabama alum OJ Howard. In what appeared to be 2 potential playoff teams going head-to-head, Idaho Bridge Nutless enjoyed the W and Dad Therapy was sent home thinking about his TE options (or lack thereof).
Blue Balls
Bye Week – 51.3 points
The fact Bye Week even made the Blue Balls list is impressive in and of itself. But lets not take anything away from Bye Week’s outlier performance, as he whooped up on Cherno Alpha to a tune of 32 points. Fortunately for Bye Week, the 51 points left on the bench didn’t come back to haunt him and he notched his first win of the season.
Good luck in week 4 gents.