As the Deuce Cuppers settle in from a frantic first half of the ’23-24 season, optimism looms across the league for playoff contention. 2 teams sit above them all. The remaining 10 are flirting with a .500 winning percentage and the dread of having to gather kindling for the inevitable Wendy’s dumpster fire. But unlike years prior, even the gatherers have hope. The title is officially up for grabs.
So hold the crapper and fire up your RB 4’s… while we tee off a Deuce Cup® scorecard update.
Title Contenders – Hurts People…, Chalupa Batman
Hurts People… is averaging a modest 117 points a game and currently sits on the iron throne of the Deuce Cup at 5-2. Who needs draft picks when you have waiver wire pickup of the year decade, aka this guy:
Hurts People… has a 92% chance of making the playoffs – question is can he make a deep title run without using any of his bench players because that bench is rough.
If Sports Illustrated swimsuit had a fantasy football edition, Chalupa Batman’s roster would be the cover page. Boasting the most points in the league at 859 (123 avg), this roster is drool worthy and every fantasy owners wet dream. Batman’s in cruise control with a first round bye in sight.
Playoff Hopefuls – 3X TBC, Puma Pants, King Can
3 Time Toilet Bowl Champion has to feel good about where he’s standing (3rd overall). Literally risen from the Wendy’s dumpster fire like a rare Tua phoenix, 3X TBC is not only primed to make the playoffs – he’s got a legitimate shot to contend for the title.
Puma Pants is getting WR 30 production from both Waddle and Wilson yet has managed to put up the league’s 5th most points. Having a future HOF QB helps and should be enough to push Mr. Commissioner into the playoff picture.
King Can may be sitting on the bottom half of the table, but this roster is capable of putting up BIG numbers every week. Look for the 2X DCC to make a run in the 2nd half of the season and secure a playoff birth.
Hold the Crapper – IntheCARR Gettin ATJ, Yellin’ Degenerates, Team Simpkins
Okay, so maybe my call of ATJ reaching the title game was a bad one. Even Gettin ATJ said it himself over the group chat, “My team fucking sucks.” No matter how groovy that roster looks on paper… that team doooes suck. Averaging the league’s second lowest points per game (92) and no players inside the top 20 – ATJ is destined for toilet bowl glory and the license plate that it bears.
Yellin’ Degenerates has scored the lowest points so far and sits dead last in the Deuce Cup standings at 2-5. While playoff contention isn’t mathematically ruled out, Yellin’ Degenerates has to win the next few games to remain in the hunt. Trading Jonathan Taylor Thomas for Lamar Jackson might be the missing ingredient the dish called for all along.
Team Simpkins hasn’t had the easiest sledding since joining the league. Losing both his starting RB and super star WR wasn’t on the game script and neither was Justin Fields forgetting how to play football. All is fine, Fields is hurt now too. Without a ton of production from Amari Cooper or Stafford, Simpkins needs some rookie magic to stay out of the Toilet Bowl®.
Good luck to all teams and in the words of Samuel L. Jackson…
